Dating After The Baby Father Drama
- Camila Dias
When Camila freed herself of her baby father drama, she decided to re-enter the dating scene. But what were the reactions she received from other guys after they found out about her son?
I was finally free from all the baby father drama. I let go of everything that was bringing me down and after a while I was ready to re-enter the dating scene. I was happy because I knew I was ready. Never date because you are lonely or confused. When you are content with the way your life is going and are happy being single then you are ready.
Even though I was looking forward to getting out there and meeting new people, I was also quite nervous. I had started a relationship with my son’s dad at just 15. I had no experience in dating and now I was a young woman without a curfew but with a child.
In my opinion, it’s much easier for a dad. My son’s dad had moved on ages ago without a problem, he showed them a picture of his son and they were smitten, but I was a little worried.
When is the right time to bring up that I have a child during a date? Because I’m young people just don’t expect it. I would drop this bomb on them…maybe I was overthinking it.
Regardless, after a few months I had collected quite an assortment of reactions that guys would give me when I told them I had a child. There was the guy who went into mute before choking (on absolutely nothing, he wasn’t drinking anything – he just… choked). Then there was the guy that for some reason decided that his first question should be, “Does your baby dad go to the gym?” I genuinely don’t think I’ve ever been more confused.
There are countless reactions, including the one where they pretend they also have a child and wait for me to say I’m joking. Strange. But the two main reactions I would get were either a guy thinking, “Well, she’s got a child so she must be easy”. It’s the bad rep young mums have I guess, but those types of guys are easy to spot and get filtered out ASAP.
The other type of reaction is the guy that thinks that because they’re seeing a girl with a child, it now means that they have to marry you, be a dad, buy a house, start cooking, start cleaning, give you money, wrestle your child’s dad and go to church.
Firstly, this just is not the case. I understand why a guy may be worried about dating me, but I keep my son and my own personal dating life as two complete separate things; of course, everyone is different but I think that’s how it should be. My son already has a dad and he doesn’t need another. The truth is, a guy I date is not even going to ever meet my son – at least not any time soon.
None-the-less, sometimes the situation just wasn’t for some guys and I understood. Sometimes I brushed it off but sometimes I was a little saddened. Either way I wasn’t looking for anything serious just yet, I was just glad I had moved on from the previous situation and was testing out the dating scene.